Monday, February 4, 2008

Bipolar Hypomania - Walking the Line

After struggling with diagnosed bipolar disorder for the past 20 years, I think that I have a more realistic perspective of the illness and my vulnerabilities. One temptation is to strive for a mood just shy of of hypomania. Hypomania is a sub-manic state. And honestly, when hypomanic I can get a lot done.

The problem is, even with the vast pharmacopia available for treating mood disorders, no one can precisely control mood. Unexpected stressors in life can't be avoided, and walking the hypomanic line leave little wiggle room when stress suddenly turns up the heat. Hypomania can very quickly turn into full blown mania or head south into depression.

I had been operating in a hypomanic state for some time. With the sudden burden of work and home stressors I spent the last several days sleeping and walking through molasses (figuratively...those of you who have suffered from depression know how severe depression can even make it difficult to move. How everything seems slowed down).

So, since the last posting in December, I was busy being hypomanic and working on other projects to post a Moodie entry. Then I was too depressed to handle much more than getting through the day.

Was very depressed over the past several days. Began taking my Zoloft (in addition to the Seroquel and Wellbutrin that I usually take). My psychiatrist usually advises me to add the Zoloft in fall and winter, when depression is usually more of a problem, then stop taking the Zoloft in the spring and summer to avoid hypomania.

Today I feel hypomanic again, but after being depressed it feels great to be functional...a 7 on the Mood-ie-meter.

Manic 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 depresseD

This blog is for informational purposes only, it is not intended to be used for the treatment of mental illness. If you are having emotional troubles, please see a mental health professional.