Bipolar Disorder Patient's Depression Art

I just recently realized that a couple of art pieces in my home really remind me of my "shadow" side, the depression in me. I didn't create these pieces, but I really feel a connection with them. 

The first picture is a ceramic sculpture of a faceless girl holding a jar. This was my mother's. She collected quite a bit of art, and when this piece was in her home, it always bothered my, kind of creeped me out. After my mother died, I kept some of her art pieces and sold others. When I was considering what to do with this one, I stared at it for a long time, and suddenly it looked beautiful and sad to me. Now it hangs in my living room. 

This second photo is of a painting I purchased while on vacation last year in Northern California. It's titled "Grace" by artist Yarrow Summers. As soon as I saw it, I had to have it. The way the woman in blue is staring off into the unknown seemed very melancholy to me. I looks like I feel when I am sad and still.

Do you have, or know of, any pieces of art that really relate to your depression of mania? Leave a comment.

Click here to see my post on Bipolar Art. 

Bipolar Disorder: Qualifying for Disabilty Benefits & Income Support

Although more mentally ill people are qualifying for disability benefits than ever before, only a fraction of applicants get approved.

There are numerous ads on mental health sites (including mine) in which law firms offer their assistance to those seeking income support for mental health disability. These ads piqued my interest, and I began to wonder, would I qualify? What's involved in the application process? Do you need a lawyer to get approval? 

The main thing that I learned through my research is that getting disability benefits for mental illness is a complicated and often unsuccessful process. I still have more investigating to do, but, at this point, my recommendation to others is: 1. learn as much as possible through your own research, 2. get a free consultation from lawyer (or 2) who specializes in disability benefits. 

The following is a summary of what I learned, as well as several helpful links to additional information.

Mental Illness, Work and Income Support Programs 

That's the title of a 2009 study published in the American Journal of Psychiatry. Although the study is more than three years old, it did provide some interesting info, and is worth reading (Click here for the full article). 

In 1978, less than 2% of new disability awards were for mental illness. By 2005, 30% of new awards went to the mentally ill. That more recent statistic may sound promising, but still only a fraction of those who apply for benefits are approved. The application screening process is involved and requires substantial documentation to support the existence of disability. The study described three main types of assistance available: 

• Social Security Disability Insurance (SSDI): Only people who have paid Social Security taxes can become insured for benefits, meaning you have to have a work history.

• Supplemental Security Income (SSI): Based on need and qualifying as disabled.

• Temporary Assistance for Needy Families (TANF): The study mentioned that many people with symptoms of mental illness utilize this program.

For help understanding the difference the difference between SSDI and SSI, see:

• Difference between Social Security disability and SSI disability

• Social Security Disability Benefits

The following sites have useful information on what is involved in the screening process to qualify for social security disability income:

• Mental Illness and Social Security Disability, by NoLo, Law for All

• Allsup, a private Social Security disability claims services company, provides a helpful explanation of Social Security's five-step process to determine if a bipolar patient qualifies for SSDI.

• Disability Evaluation Under Social Security: Mental Disorders (Affective Disorders 12.04)

Do you have experience with disability benefits for your bipolar disorder? Please share your experience so that we can learn from each other!

Depression vs. Sunshine & Fresh Air: Get Outdoors and Get Happy!

Went to the big lake today! It was windy and beautiful, with crashing whitecaps close to shore for the kids to jump.

Although there's a good deal of stressful stuff going on for me, and our entire family, right now, a day outside, in a beautiful place, did a lot to make everyone feel better. It was a bargain too, costing only the gas to get there and the nominal beach parking fee. The grandparents even came along, so it was a multi-generational fun-fest. Going to the beach with little ones is a lot of work, but it makes memories that are well worth it!

If you don't have a lake near you, just get outside and have fun! We have a great nature center nearby. They have a hiking program where you buy a walking stick and earn metal badges to add to your stick after completing certain sets of hiking trails. The badge program motivates the kids to participate, which is very helpful. Fresh air encourages deep, restful sleep, and a day away from all the stress goes a long way to put life's difficulties in perspective. 

I worry about everything, sometimes to the point that I have problems with anxiety and obsessive negative/worrying thoughts. Physical exertion outside is  one of those handy valves that releases stress and worry, and helps me get the deep, restful sleep that anyone with bipolar disorder really needs.

Enjoy summer while it lasts!

Bipolar Disorder, Metal Pin Art & Creative Release

Had a bad day today. Lots of stressful stuff going on in my life right now. Feeling very depressed and unstable. Still, I was able to get out and do things. I was gone from home most of the day actually, and even got my workout in, but had that dull, wooden feeling all day.

Spent some time with my oldest daughter at our city's Institute of Arts, and created this metal pin art "ode to depression" in their interactive room. Felt much better after I expressed my trapped, sad feeling.

I'll be be adding this pic to my previous post "Bipolar Art: Creations of the Manic Depressive".

On the way home from the museum, we stopped at Hobby Lobby and got some modeling clay and sculpting tools. I love sculpture. It's one of the art forms that I really connect with. It seems so passionate and emotional. So thought I'd try my hand at sculpting to see if it might function as a release valve to get the depression or mania out of me when I am feeling extreme. 

Do you have an artistic hobby or passion? Leave a comment and share your crazy creative side!

Moodie's Superfly Bipolar Workout Playlist

As promised in my last post, "Losing Weight and Getting Fit (Again)", here's the playlist that I workout to. You can also find it in the left sidebar. This collection is what I trained with when I ran races last year. It really gets me moving. Each title below is a link to the song on iTunes, in case you'd like to download them and get your jam-a-lam-a-ding-dong on.

Moodie's Superfly Workout Playlist

• Ain't Nothing Wrong With That - Robert Randolph
• Pump It - Black Eyed Peas
• Get Ur Freak On - Missy Elliot
• Brick House - Rick James
• Clap Hands - Beck
• They Don't Want Music - Black Eyed Peas
• What'd I Say (Live 1959) - Ray Charles
• Lose Control - Missy Elliot
• Hell Yes - Beck
• Imma Be - Black Eyed Peas
• Shake Your Pom Pom - Missy Elliot
• #1 - Nelly
• Super Freak - Rick James
• Word Up - Cameo
• Hands Up - Black Eyed Peas   
• Jungle Boogie - Cool & the Gang
• Gonna Make You Sweat - C+C Music Factory

Losing Weight & Getting Fit (Again) - A Bipolar Woman's Fitness Plan

In a recent post on "Bipolar Disorder and Physical Fitness" I confessed to having become sedentary over the past year, while working long hours on an internet project (i.e. sitting in front of the computer for hours on end), and vowed to get back to my fitness level of one year ago--the most ripped I've ever been. Well here is the post where I am going to track my progress and share workout and diet tips on what's working for me.

So today I weighed, measured, took some photos and said OMG! While I have retained a bit of the muscle tone and core strength that I worked so hard on last year, there is a big ole layer of fat covering everything! So, while my abdomen does have some muscle tone, it can't be seen. And my arms! So sad. They had been pretty muscular and defined. Now, in that photo of my upper arm, I see hanging skin, not triceps :(.

I have been working out regularly for the past few weeks, so I thought I would look a little better, and maybe I do, compared to when I started. I am sure that I lost weight over the past two weeks, based on how my clothes fit, but when I stepped on the scale and saw the unhappy number, it made we wonder how much I weighed two weeks ago! I guess I will consider today Day 1, and go from here with some solid data to track from. 

I take Seroquel as one of my bipolar meds, and the drug has a reputation for contributing to weight gain. I haven't necessarily seen a relationship between my taking Seroquel and gaining weight.  My weight gain is from eating too much of the wrong stuff and not being active.

I will weigh and measure myself every week on Monday, and post the numbers, as well as info on my exercise and eating habits. I am 5'3" tall, so a little bit of weight gain (or loss) makes a big difference. I am not just doing this to lose weight. I want to be more physically fit so that I can keep up with my kids, feel better, and look better as I age.

Day 1 - 7/16/2012

STATS

Weight: 137.8#, Bust: 37 1/2", Waist: 32 3/4", Hips: 39", Thigh: 22 1/2"

EXERCISE

Worked out at gym today. It's only been cool enough to exercise outside during the early morning. I usually go to the three times a week, and then engage in other physical activities on other days (gardening, riding scooters with kids, bicycling, running).

At the gym, I currently do:

- elliptical for 30 minutes (15 forwards, 15 backwards) on the interval setting, alternating between incline and resistance of 4 and incline and resistance 6 or 7

- resistance training 30 minutes on nautilus machines for upper body strength

When home, in addition to various activities listed above, I also currently try to do 60 pushups,60 dips and 100 crunches everyday. 

Music helps motivate me to put more effort into my exercise. I will put my main workout playlist in the left margin soon. It really keeps me moving. 

FOOD

I have made a point to stock up on a lot of fresh fruits and veggies, and to have them washed and handy. I keep a bowl of cherries, grapes, apples or clementines on the counter for a healthy snack, and eat almonds, string cheese or a Kashi bar when I need a little protein in my snack.

I need to get better at eating a filling breakfast with balanced carbs proteins and fats. I did this when i was fit. Eating a good breakfast does help a person eat less throughout the rest of the day. I like to make my own ez egg sandwich with a toasted English muffin, scrambled egg microwaved in a small bowl (to make it the same shape as the muffin), low-fat sliced cheese, fresh spinach and spicy mustard. Much lower cal than a McMuffin.

I'll update this post next week. 

Week 1 - 7/23/2012

STATS

Weight: 136.6#, Bust: 38", Waist: 33", Hips: 38", Thigh: 22"
Lost 1.2#

EXERCISE

Have been working out most days, and on days when I don't work out at the gym or run/walk 5K, I try to do something active around the house, like ride bikes or scooters with the kids or garden. I know that I am building muscle mass working out now, so not disturbed about only losing a pound. As long as the numbers keep going down, file with me. 

An doing a lot of resistance work to build my muscle mass back up. Muscle burns calories, white fat (all that excess baggage) doesn't. So it is easier to lose weight over the long-term if you develop more and bigger muscle cells. It is also nice to have defined muscle and look fit.

Need to stick with getting my push ups, dips and crunches done at home every day. Have not been consistent with that.
 

FOOD

Still been eating too many sweets. Not a lot, but less would help me lose faster.  Am eating a lot of fresh veggies and fruits, and mostly healthy stuff overall. But my portion size is still to large. Will pick up some weight watchers frozen dinners this week to have now, and then. Easy way to control portion size.

Month 1 - 8/13/2012

STATS

Weight: 137.8#, Bust: 37", Waist: 33", Hips: 39", Thigh: 22 1/2"

EXERCISE
I have been exercising at least 5 days a week with 30 minutes cardio followed by strength training. Am disappointed that my weight and measurements have not changed at all. But I can tell that my body is in better shape and more muscular. I don't feel like I am dragging my body around but am starting to propel it, and being more fit feels good. Need to up aerobic exercise to 40 minutes and reduce the number of calories that I am taking in.

FOOD
Am still mainly eating healthy food, but too much food in general. Also too much alcohol, sweets, fancy coffee and movie popcorn (no fake butter or extra salt, but still loaded with calories). Now that I am on the right track as far as exercise goes, I need to really focus on food intake. 


GOAL
I will post my progress again in one month, and my goal is to be below 130#.


Month 2 - 9/17/2012
STATS
Weight: 137.4#

EXERCISE
Exercising regularly, and in much better shape now, but weight still not budging. I know that I am more fit. I ran 5K yesterday for the first time in over a year, and it took me a lot of walk/runs to increase my endurance to that point. I also feel sexier, more body confident.



FOOD
Am still mainly eating healthy food, but still too much food in general, alcohol, and sweets. I need to focus on food and booze intake if I want my weight to decrease. 


GOAL
I will post my progress again in one month, and am keeping the same goal, to get below 130#.