Monday, May 7, 2012

Stupid Bipolar Tricks: Irresponsible Behavior of Manic Depression

Bipolar Disorder and Irresponsible Behavior
Thought I'd make a list of unwise, irresponsible, dangerous things I did before my bipolar disorder was under control with medication. I am not listing everything. Some things are just too bad for me to put down in writing. 

  • accumulated 30K in unsecured debt (Which I have paid off...yaaay. Currently debt-free!)
  • painted my entire basement while staying up all night
  • had unprotected, risky sex in my youth
  • drove 1/2 way across the country overnight to vote in a presidential election, because didn't get an absentee ballot in advance
  • briefly left my house at night to get cigarettes while my child was asleep (I've quit doing both.)
  • worked as a stripper
  • got drunk at work-related social events 
  • told a company I worked for that I was out working in the field when I was staying home depressed
  • had a stinky house full of pets that I didn't have time to care for properly
  • played video games continuously (except for sleep and work) for days on end
  • stalked a guy who broke up with me
There's more. I'll add as I remember.

Have you done any stupid bipolar tricks? Post a comment. Maybe our lists will help someone.


  1. I have been going through a personal hell. I have ADHD but recently I have the experience of going through my first full blown Manic experience. It was textbook, and had it continued I probibly would have been hospitalized.

    It seems to have been triggered by the stimulant ADHD med Vyvanse. Cutting back the meds helpped but I seem to be stuck in a mixed mood since the crash. I have been irrational, emotional and emotionally conflicted. Its like that manic experience which lasted two months and progressed until the soul crushing crash into the dark hole of despair broke me. I can't seem to return to normal.

    Doc says I have ADHD with Mood Disorder NOS. I don’t think I cycle like a bipolar but then again I am not sure anymore.

    Antidepressants make me a psychotic explosive robot as well as the NRI Straterra.

    The doc started me on the mood stabilizer Lamictal and it’s been two weeks and it helps a little. I know it takes time.

    So now my question is a full blown manic event like some kind of seizure? I feel broken now, emotionally. Is this what it feels like when bi-polar starts in mid life? Or is there a long term recovery after a manic blow out. By the way, I actually like the initial start of the manic event. I got a ton done and I was on top of the world. When it kept amplifying it got horrifying real quick. Then when it got amped to the point of irrationality and delusions, all it took was one negative catalyst to throw me into the deepest darkest pit I have ever been in.

    My emotional perspective seems to be broken now. Things that happened 20 years ago are just as powerful as if they just happened.

    I don’t feel crazy, but I feel like my emotions have a mind and goals of their own. I don’t actually believe that of course it’s just a metaphor, LOL.

    I’m just trying to figure out what happened and If I can go back…